Daily Jewish Law - 2/1

Hi,


Yesterday we said that one may not speak negatively of a person in his presence (despite rationalizing that if I'll say it in his presence, it must not be that bad).

However, one may say something with two potential meanings, one negative and one positive, in the subject's presence; we assume that one wouldn't do this unless he intended the positive meaning.

(Mekor Chaim 3:2)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Saying it to his face doesn't help

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

People sometimes excuse harmful comments by saying, "I even say this to his face."

While such candor is admirable, saying a negative thing about a person in his presence rather than behind his back does not mitigate the Lashon HaRa aspect. Instead, it adds another element of embarrassing him to his face.

(Mekor Chaim 3:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/30

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

If someone discusses with you his personal affairs, such as his business, you may not reveal them to others - even if nothing negative is apparent in them - unless he already discussed them in a public forum, showing that he does not mind public knowledge.

(Mekor Chaim 2:13)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/29

Hi,

We have been learning about harmful speech.

The fact that a person's negative incident is publicly known and comes up in conversation on its own, without intent to cause a bad reputation, still does not permit embellishment or editorializing on the part of people in that conversation.

(Mekor Chaim 2:9)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/28

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

If a person has divulged something negative about himself in a group setting, but he asked that the group members not mention it elsewhere, those listeners are not permitted to consider the news "public knowledge," and may not repeat it.

(Mekor Chaim 2:7)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/27

Hi,

We have been learning about harmful speech.

The prohibition against Lashon Hara is geared toward preventing me from communicating new negative information about a person, giving him a bad reputation. Conveying old information does not give him a bad reputation.

There is a separate prohibition against Tale-Bearing (Rechilut), and that prohibition is geared toward preventing me from instigating negative conversations about a person, causing people to turn against him.

The key here is instigation. If something is already public, so that the listeners are all familiar with it, then communicating it isn't Lashon Hara - the fact is already known. However, initiating such a discussion is still problematic under Tale-Bearing, because Tale-Bearing isn't really about divulging fresh information, it's about instigating negative comments about a person.

(Mekor Chaim 2:3)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/25

Hi,

We have been learning about Lashon HaRa, harmful speech.

The size of the audience does not affect the permissibility of speaking negatively about others - it is prohibited before small and large groups alike.

However, it is worth noting that one who is speaking to a group of three or more people will be better-reminded to watch his words, since he will understand that his words will likely get back to the subject of his remarks. Therefore, one who must speak about other people should do so in a group, specifically, where he will be more careful.

(Mekor Chaim 2:1-2)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/24

Hi,

We have been learning about the prohibition against harmful speech.

Even if one includes himself among the subjects of a negative comment - "It's not just them, it's me too" - that constitutes prohibited speech.

(Mekor Chaim 1:9)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/23

Hi,

We have been learning about Lashon HaRa, harmful speech.

The prohibition against harmful speech applies to implication as well, including hints.

(Mekor Chaim 1:8)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/22

Hi,

We have been learning about Lashon haRa, harmful speech.

The prohibition against speaking harmfully of others applies to writing and using other forms of communication as well.

(Mekor Chaim 1:8)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/21

Hi,

We have been learning about Lashon HaRa.

One may not speak slanderously of others even for financial gain, such as to ingratiate himself with a supervisor.

(Mekor Chaim 1:6)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/20

Hi,

We have been learning about Lashon HaRa.

One is liable for harmful speech even if he was persuaded to relate the information; even if one's parent or teacher instructs him to relate the information, telling it is still prohibited.

(Mekor Chaim 1:5)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/18

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

One who mixes falsehood into a negative report about another person, such that he increases the disgrace about that person, violates a prohibition against giving a person a bad reputation. This is considered even worse than truthful lashon hara.

(Mekor Chaim 1:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/17

Hi,

One may not speak about the disgrace of another, even if it is entirely true; one who does so violates the biblical prohibition, 'You shall not walk as a peddler among your nation.'

(Mekor Chaim 1:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 1/16 - New Topic: Lashon HaRa

Hello,

Today we begin a new topic: Laws of Lashon HaRa (harmful speech) and the mandate to use our mouths in positive ways.

We actually did this topic a few years ago, but:
(1) It's always worth review, and
(2) I plan to add more this time around.

Mekor Chaim is the Chafetz Chaim's work on the laws of Lashon haRa, and I'll be working from that text. (His oft-quoted Shmirat haLashon incorporates law, but is a lot broader than that.)

"Four sins are so great that they warrant punishment in this world, but their core punishment remains for the next world: Idolatry, sexual immorality, murder, and evil speech is the equal of them all."

(Talmud Yerushalmi, Peah 4a)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Catching wax which drips from Shabbat candles

Hi,

We have been learning about lighting Shabbat candles.

Two notes of preface:
1. Wax is muktzeh on Shabbat - one may not handle it, and one may not move any receptacle in which it rests.
2. Taking a functional implement and rendering it non-functional, on Shabbat, is prohibited. This is considered an act of destruction, albeit temporary destruction.

Therefore: If a Shabbat candle is dripping wax, one may not place a functional receptacle beneath it to catch the falling wax, since that would render the receptacle off-limits for Shabbat.

(Obviously, this does not deal with a case of preventing a life-threatening fire on Shabbat!)

(Code of Jewish Law Orach Chaim 265:3; Mishneh Berurah 265:6)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Beautiful candlesticks

Hi,

We have been learning about lighting Shabbat candles.

One may not use a dirty candlestick, unless one is so impoverished that he has no other option.

(Mishneh Berurah 264:29)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Males and Shabbat Candles

Hi,

We have been learning about lighting Shabbat candles.

We mentioned here that some men light the candles and then extinguish them, before their wives actually light candles, so that the wick will be ready for lighting and will catch fire more easily.

Note that this is not obligatory; as long as the wick will burn well once lit, one need not "pre-light" it.

(Code of Jewish Law Orach Chaim 264:9; Mishneh Berurah 264:28)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

The fuel and wick for Shabbat candles

Hi,

We have been learning about Shabbat candles.

One must use a type of wick and fuel which burns easily, to prevent a situation in which one forgets it is Shabbat and adjusts the candle.

(Code of Jewish Law Orach Chaim 264:1; Mishneh Berurah 264:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Accepting Shabbat when lighting candles

Hi,

We have been learning about lighting Shabbat candles.

It is assumed that a woman accepts Shabbat when she lights Shabbat candles. However, a woman who wishes may declare, before lighting, that she is not accepting Shabbat with her act of lighting. She may then wait until later (some time before sunset) to accept Shabbat.

There is a view that such a condition is ineffective because her act of lighting candles is such a blatant declaration of Shabbat. Therefore, this condition should not be used other than in a case of need.

(Code of Jewish Law Orach Chaim 263:10; Mishneh Berurah 263:44)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Shabbat candles for those who eat out

Hi,

We have been learning about Shabbat candles.

One who will eat dinner in someone else's home, and return home to sleep, should light in that person's home rather than in his/her own house. This is because the most important role of the candles is to illuminate the Friday night meal.

However: One who cannot light at the dinner site may light at home, provided that the candles will last long enough to provide benefit upon the return home.

(Based on Code of Jewish Law Orach Chaim 263:9; Mishneh Berurah 263:41)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Shabbat candles for guests

Hi,

We have been learning about Shabbat candles.

One who is a guest in someone else's home for Shabbat and does not have a private room, and does not have someone lighting back home, should contribute toward the cost of the host's illumination.

(Code of Jewish Law Orach Chaim 263:7)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Sabbat candles when away from home

Hi,

We have been learning about Shabbat candles.

One who is not at home for Shabbat is obligated to make sure there is light where he will stay. Even one who has a spouse staying at home must still provide for light wherever (s)he will be, and must therefore light with a blessing.

(Code of Jewish Law Orach Chaim 263:6; Mishneh Berurah 263:28)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Shabbat candles for multiple households

Hi,

We have been learning about Shabbat candles.

When multiple families dine together, all households may fulfill their mitzvah with a single lighting, or light individually. Even though the first household to light has provided illumination, each subsequent lighting adds to the illumination and honor of Shabbat.

The popular custom, as I have observed it, is for each household to light its own candles.

Ideally, each set should be placed some noticeable distance apart from the others.

(Aruch haShulchan Orach Chaim 263:6)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Shabbat candles for unmarried girls

Hi,

We have been learning about lighting Shabbat candles.

Young unmarried girls have developed the custom of lighting for themselves, even when living in the house where their mothers light. This is acceptable, but they should light in separate areas of the room.

If they must light in the same part of the room, they should not use the same candelabra.

(Aruch haShulchan Orach Chaim 263:7)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Shabbat candles in a bedroom

Hi,

We have been learning about lighting Shabbat candles.

We have said that the main mitzvah is to illuminate the dining area. Nonetheless, one who is a guest in someone else's home or in a hotel may light in his own private room (subject to the fire safety rules of the hotel) and recite the blessing there, assuming that illumination is already being provided for the dining area.

(Aruch haShulchan Orach Chaim 263:4)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Shehechiyanu on Yom Tov candles, and at Kiddush

Hi,

We have been learning about lighting Shabbat candles.

As an aside: Many women have the practice of reciting the blessing of "Shehechiyanu" when lighting Yom Tov candles. They need not do this, for they will hear the "Shehechiyanu" as part of kiddush later, but they may just as easily recite it for themselves.

(Mishneh Berurah 263:23)

Note: One who recites Shechiyanu at candle-lighting should not say it again, or even answer Amen to it, at kiddush.

Have a great day,
Mordechai