Addictive transgressions

Hi,

"Five behaviours draw a person perpetually, and separating from them is difficult. Therefore, one must be careful of them, lest he become attached to them. All of them involve very bad traits. They are:

"Tale-bearing;

Speaking harmfully of others;

Anger;

Thinking negatively of others [and as some explain, plotting to harm them];

Joining the wicked, such that one learns from his deeds and they are engraved upon his heart…"

(Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Laws of Repentance 4:5)

גמר חתימה טובה,

Mordechai

The obligation to forgive

Hi,

One is obligated to forgive others and not be cruel, once they have sincerely requested forgiveness; to do otherwise is to violate the Torah's prohibitions against revenge and grudge-bearing.

The person who harmed the other is required to apologize and seek forgiveness three times, using various groups of friends to argue his case. If the three attempts do not succeed, his obligation is terminated - unless the offended party was his Rebbe (Torah mentor), in which case he must continue to seek forgiveness.

According to some authorities, one may decline to forgive where this will help the sinner to improve, or where the original sin was one of spreading lashon hara [harmful speech].

(Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Laws of Repentance 2:9-10; Rama, Orach Chaim 606:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/27

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara.

I somehow missed posting yesterday, so here are two thoughts to make it up:

Hints toward lashon hara are forbidden, including statements like, "I don't want to say what happened."

Speaking positively about a person in the presence of his enemy, such that the enemy is likely to respond by pointing out that person's flaws, is prohibited.

(Mekor Chaim 9:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/25

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

It is prohibited to speak negatively of the dead, even though they will not feel or display any embarrassment in this world.

(Mekor Chaim 8:9)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/24

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

The credibility of a reporter of lashon hara is irrelevant.

Therefore, even if the person who presents a negative report is a friend of the report's subject, the listener is not permitted to believe it.

(Mekor Chaim 8:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/22

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

If a person hears a negative story about someone else, and there are elements in the story that make it 100% indisputably clear to him that the story is true, he may believe the story - but he still may not repeat it to others.

(Mekor Chaim 7:12)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/20

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara (harmful speech).

We have said that one is not permitted to believe a negative report about a person. This is true even if the negative report is told in front of its subject, who does not deny it. Perhaps the subject did not wish to demean himself by entering a fight, or perhaps he thought he would not be believed.

(Mekor Chaim 7:2)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/19

Hi,

We have been learning about Lashon HaRa, harmful speech.

We said yesterday that one should believe a negative report about a person, to the extent required to protect himself in case the report is true. However, that only permits measures of self-defense; aggressive measures such as pre-emptively harming or embarrassing the other person are strictly prohibited.

(Mekor Chaim 6:11)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/18

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

Although one is prohibited from believing negative speech about another person, one is obligated to take steps to protect himself from that person, just in case the lashon hara really were true.

(Mekor Chaim 6:10)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/17

Hi,

We have now learned that one is prohibited from listening to many different types of negative reports about people, but we have also learned that there are times when it is a mitzvah to listen to those reports (although not to believe them), for the sake of producing a positive result.

Therefore, when hearing a person begin telling a negative report, one should question him on whether this speech could lead to one of the positive results we have outlined or not, and based on the answer one should either listen or turn away.

(Mekor Chaim 6:3)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/15

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

It is a mitzvah to listen to negative speech if the person telling it will be calmed by having a listener, such that he will stop spreading those words once he has told the story to the listener. Of course, the listener is prohibited from believing the negative report.

(Mekor Chaim 6:4)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/14

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

It is a mitzvah to listen to Lashon Hara if the goal is to argue with the speaker and defeat that negative report.

(Mekor Chaim 6:4)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/13

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech. We have already stated that one may not accept a negative report about a person. Additionally, one may not even place himself in a position to hear such a report, even planning to reject it.

The one exception to this rule is if the news might affect the listener materially - in such a case one may listen, and although one may not fully accept the report, one may take appropriate measures for self-protection.

For example: One who is about to enter into a partnership with person X may inquire about his credibility. If the report is negative then one may not accept it in the sense of fully believing it, but he may accept the report to the extent of not entering into the partnership.

(Mekor Chaim 6:2)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/12

Hi,

We have been learning about Lashon haRa, harmful speech.

Not only is speaking negatively of others prohibited, but believing a negative report is also strictly prohibited; it is better to believe that there was some misunderstanding.

(Mekor Chaim 6:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/11

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

Just as one may not speak negatively about a person and his traits, so one may not speak negatively about his property, in a way that will reflect back upon the person.

(Mekor Chaim 5:7)

Have a great day,

Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/10

Hello,

We have been learning about Lashon haRa, harmful speech.

"Lashon HaRa" includes any comment that will cause a person embarrassment, even if it isn't directly negative about him - such as a comment about his parents or relatives.

(Mekor Chaim 4:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/8

Hi,

We have been learning about Lashon haRa, harmful speech.

Reactions to one's words are highly subjective, and one is responsible to make sure that his words will not be taken negatively by the person about whom he is speaking.

To give the Chafetz Chaim's relatively simple example: To say that a certain person sets aside four hours per day for Torah study would be great praise for a person who spends nine hours day at a job - but would be an insult for a person who is in yeshiva. Many real-life situations are far more complex than this, but the key is to think in terms of the feelings of the subject.

(Mekor Chaim 5:6)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/7

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

We have said it is prohibited to mock a person for his poor Man-Gd relationship and social failings; it is also forbidden to mock a person for general weak traits, such as a lack of wisdom, strength, or wealth.

(Mekor Chaim 5:2)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/6

Hi,

We have been learning about lashon hara, harmful speech.

One is not permitted to mock another person for weaknesses in his religious observance and Man-Gd relationship, or for weaknesses in his social relationships.

(Mekor Chaim 5:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Daily Jewish Law - 2/5

Hi,

We have been learning about harmful speech.

"Lashon HaRa" includes any comment that will cause a person embarrassment, even if it isn't directly negative about him - such as a comment about his parents or relatives.

(Mekor Chaim 4:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai