A wedding for a mourner

Hi,

Where a prospective bride or groom loses an immediate relative, and the wedding would have been during the week of shivah, and delaying the wedding would mean losing the deposit made for the wedding hall, then they should:

1. Do the chuppah before the burial;

2. Have the burial while observing the seven days of sheva berachot;

3. Make one of the sheva berachot meals in the hall at the originally scheduled time of the wedding; and

4. observe shivah after the week of sheva berachot.

(Rav Moshe Feinstein, Igrot Moshe Yoreh Deah 1:227)

Have a good day,
Mordechai

Sheva berachot for a mourner

Hi,

Sheva berachot are viewed as a way to gladden the bride, in particular. Therefore, where a new husband is in mourning, the bride is able to forgive her right to sheva berachot.

(Rav Moshe Feinstein, Igrot Moshe Yoreh Deah 1:226)

Have a good day,
Mordechai

A full cup

Hi,

When a mitzvah requires a blessing on a cup of wine, such as Sheva Berachot, we require that the cup be filled to the top.

(Rav Moshe Feinstein, Igrot Moshe Orach Chaim 4:70:10)

[I sense that "full" is defined based on whether people who see it call it "full", rather than a particular measure of distance from the top, but I cannot prove this.]

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Drinking from the Sheva Berachot cups at Seudah Shlishit

Hi,

We don't eat or drink after sunset on Shabbat, until Shabbat is over and one has recited Havdalah.

Therefore, where Seudah Shlishit is also a meal of Sheva Berachot and it ends after sunset, the person who recites birkat hamazon does not drink from the cup. However, the chatan and kallah do drink.

(Rav Moshe Feinstein, Igrot Moshe Orach Chaim 4:69:1)

Have a great day,
Mordechai

Leaving a wedding early

Hi,

The rule, normally, is that one who eats with others at a communal meal is considered a part of their meal. Therefore, one who eats with enough participants to trigger a mezuman [collective birchat hamazon] is required to stay until a mezuman is performed. At a wedding there is an increased obligation to remain for Sheva Berachot.

One who knows he will need to leave before Sheva Berachot should state explicitly [not necessarily to anyone, though] that he is not participating in the communal meal.

(Rav Moshe Feinstein, Igrot Moshe Orach Chaim 1:56)

Have a great day,
Mordechai